radicuhl

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:57:45 GMT

i was gonna go to the bank today, grab some money to go shopping later
cause i haven't spent anyyy of my ca$h since i started work
but of course my dumb ass forgets the car keys [wow]
so i come back in for two seconds
and all of a sudden my dad decides to start shouting at me
cause the bank is gonna close soon and whatnot
and i was just gonna sit down anyway and not go after my mom suggested tomorrow instead
alllll i said was that he didn't have to shout, cause it obviously wasn't a big deal
but then he gets even more pissed off and starts yelling about
oh, how they can't even say anything to me now or whatever
as if i just told him to shut up

are you joking?
i know people over/under exaggerate to make themselves look like
the good one in the story,
but that was honestly not even an exaggeration.

most ridiculous thing everrr.
wow@myparents.

plus, uhhh.
'D' [haha weiiiird] and I are kinda together now.
I didn't really tell much of anyone, but i guess people saw his thing on facebook
and manda got pissed at me cause i didn't tell her, and then went on to bring me down talking about how long distance relationships are so bad and someone always ends up cheating and she didn't think i would be the one too and ... ugh.
well. i'm just amazed.
kel is amazing as usual, and she makes me feel better.
but i can't call him until after 9 i guess today. poo.

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 00:27:45 GMT

okay.
so i'm definitely way pissed.
for the past few weekends a friend and i keep trying to make plans to hang out
and for some reason, every single time something gets in the way and it doesn't work out
so finally today he and i were SERIOUSLY going to go see Juno
until my mom decides to pop in and tell me that my brother 'needs' to go to watch a basketball game, so i can't have the car.
and after i say i can drop him off and go, she all of a sudden tells me that we have family leaving on a trip tomorrow
and we need to go visit them tonight
i was really pissed, and then she got mad at me cause i was so mad
but i had to cancel with him, yet again, so that's what i felt the worst about :[

but to top it off
a few minutes ago she asked my brother if he was going
and he decided not to cause he's a lazy anti-social bum
and then she goes, 'well, i'm not going anywhere either'
of course, by that time it was way too late to call him back and go to the movie.
how convenient.

great start to the weekend.

EDIT;;
on the brightside.
i think we might be rescheduled for sunday.
pluuus.
i got my paycheck today, and it was 200$ yayuhhh :D that means the new phone soon!
unfortunately, a 200$ paycheck will be a one time thing...they're cutting our hours majorly D:

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 04:39:15 GMT

:0

i wannttt that.
i know i whined about the camera, but i think i'm good with mine for a good time to come :]
i do really need a new non-crappy phone.
and with christmas money, plus the new job [which everyooone is constantly asking about now] it's definitely within reach. i was considering the enV, but why not just go big?

work 10-3 tomorrow then i totally gotta go get my iPod back cause i left it at my gramma's
i've been living off of the third season of the office, which i finally rented.

later.

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 03:03:33 GMT

happy new year :]]

i was hoping to spend it with friends. adam invited me to his party about three times, jeez...but of course i couldn't go. my mom reallllyy didn't give a reason for it either. she did mention something about spending it with family, but that was her lame attempt at giving some sort of excuse.
seriously? this is my last year in high school. next year i'll still be here, and doing every single thing with family...but just about every one of my friends will be gone. thanks.

don't get me wrong...i love my family...it's just the immediate part of it that i have problems with.

mixxx.

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 19:25:44 GMT

this is my first everr fanmix :]
it's bella/edward/jacob and it's pretty rough i guess. sometime i hope to seperate it into two seperate mixes - e/b and j/b - and do cover art as well as a graphic for every song.

even if you don't know the artists or the songs, i suggest you check it out :] it was important to me to have good music as well as lyrics that fit.

1. choose the one who loves you more. copeland.
i could leave you well enough alone
believe and you'll be overcome and gone
by grace away
better off than if i stayed
when they come knocking on your heart's door
choose the one who loves you more
and when you've found something to die for
they'll be knocking on your heart's door
i put this one first for a reason. it's what the whole thing is about - choosing between edward and jacob. at first it's sort of an edward song, saying bella would be better off than if he stayed and she'd be fine. i love the lines about a secret life - because they all three have those - and 'when you've found something to die for' because of edward's willingness to die without bella and bella's willingness to die for edward.

2. so contagious. acceptance.
could this be out of line?
to say you're the only one breaking me down like this
you're the only one i would take a shot on
keep me hanging on so contagiously
oh, when i'm around you i'm predictable
cause i believe in loving you with first sight
i know it's crazy but i'm hoping to..
to take a hold of you
oh you're everything i'm wanting
come to think of it, i'm aching
on account of my transgression..
will you welcome this confession?
i'd meant this to be an e/b song but i guess it can be either way, to be honest. bella's the only one who edward has ever encountered that he's willing to step out on a limb for, and bella wonders if he'd actually like to hear how much she likes him [twilight phase].

3. 3000 miles. valencia.
you're three thousand miles
from the place you once called home.
so much different,
you’re getting distant
and now i’m the only one who's all alone.
the fact about fiction is that it’s always in your head.
so let it all go just what you don’t know is i’d pick you, yeah,
i’d pick you instead.
i guess for now i'll have to settle for the fact that what we could have been is what i’ll never know.
bella's perspective on edward being gone, and saying she'd pick him over anyone else.

4. catching my breath. this providence.
i'm finding it hard just to breathe
i'm finding it hard just to breathe without your breath of life
i can't breathe, can't you see that i'm suffocating
are you here with me now?
well everyone keeps telling me how you're the air i breathe
and everything i need is in you
i'm one step away from
another bad decision and
i've already made up my mind
where am i? i can't see a thing
i'm getting swept off my feet
and where are you i can here your words resounding
not by the wind but by the waves that drown me
- don't let go, don't you let go
oh why didn't it occur to me
that your love goes deeper
than my moods or reservations
i once was blind but now i see
this is in bella's perspective, how she's finding it hard to continue without edward...and the bad decisions are the ones that endanger her just to be able to hear edward's voice in her head. it can also be a reference to the cliff jumping, and later on to her epiphany when she realizes how much edward really does love her.

5. suspension. mae.
lately i'm alright
and lately i'm not scared
i've figured out,
that what you do to me feels like
i'm floating on air.
i don't need to know right now
all i know is i believe
in the very thing that got us here
and now i can't leave.
say anything, but say what you mean,
cause i'm caught in suspension.
i cant seem to stop this now
even if its not so clear,
and i'll take what i can get.
if you want me here
the very beginning could sort of be bella realizing that jacob makes her feel better around the middle of new moon, but mostly it's in jacob's perspective...as in, right before he leaves to fight in eclipse, and he guilts her into asking for the kiss.

6. miserable at best. mayday parade.
don't cry, i know
you're trying your hardest
and the hardest part is letting go
of the nights that we shared
ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
but compared to your eyes
nothing shines quite as bright
let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
i know he's there and
you're probably hanging out and making eyes
while across the room he stares
i'll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
and ask my girl to dance
she'll say yes
because these words were never easier for me to say or her to second guess, but i guess
that i can live without you but
without you i'll be miserable at best
you're all that i hoped to find
in every single way
nothing feels like home
you're a thousand miles away
and the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay
i love this song, and i think it's fitting to edward's perspective while he's gone [or at some points, around in eclipse] and jacob's in his place in a way. ignore the 'katie' at the beginning =/

7. losing control. this providence.
honestly, if i'm honest with myself.
i've cried myself to sleep.
and honestly if i'm honest with myself.
i hate the song they sing.
it's like salt on an open wound.
but i can't get it out of my head.
this melody kills me.
it's out of key and foolish.
but i think i might just like it.
i turn my head and look away.
'cause you know it hurts to see the light of day.
and honestly, i've never really been honest with myself.
well this melody heals my wounds.
and i can't get it out of my head.
this one's a pretty loose fit, but for some reason i really wanted to throw it in. it's in bella's perspective, set in new moon where she can't take anything that reminds her of edward. no romantic movies, not even seeing sam and emily together...and in the end, she gets so caught up in wanting to hear edward's voice because it makes her feel better.

8. for the sake of remembering. dave melillo.
you're taking a step
and you're taking a breath
and you never expect that the answer is death
because this truth is hardly true
nights that you felt her
and days spent without her
make everything feel like it's slipping away
this is in edwards perspective, during the time that he was away from bella...the line 'you never expect that the answer is death' is meant to fit in with his decision to go to the volturi.

9. all over you. the spill canvas.
yeah he's a looker
but i really think it's guts that matter most
i displayed them for you
strewn out about from coast to coast
i am easily make-believe
just dress me up in what you want me to be
i'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now
i gotta feel you in my bones again
i'm all over you
i'm not over you
i wanna taste you one more time again
you could cure me see all you have to do now is
please try, give it your best shot and try
all i'm asking for is love
but you never seem to have enough
i cut this one up a bit, but i think it's a great fit for j/b, and i love this song.

10. this is for keeps. the spill canvas.
the air is thick with tension much like when we are together
my fangs are aching as i'm pondering about you and i forever
as i round your corner
i am nervous that you won't be my lover
i knock three times and hope that my pale complexion won't blow my cover
you answer the door with your innocent face
would you like to leave this human race, tonight?
eternity will never be enough for me
and eternally will live our infallible love
this song is so perfect for e/b :] eternal love & leaving the human race? yeah, exactly. edward's pov. making things final at last.

11. almost lover. a fine frenzy.
goodbye, my almost lover
goodbye, my hopeless dream
i'm trying not to think about you
can't you just let me be?
so long, my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
i should've known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do
i never want to see you unhappy
i thought you'd want the same for me
so you're gone and i'm haunted
and i bet you are just fine
did i make it that easy for you
to walk right in and out of my life?
this one's the last song on here for a reason too...it's just sort of a goodbye, in jacob's perspective. it's pretty obvious. i know this has been used a million and a half times, but still.

Catching My Breath.zip

* credit for manip used in front cover goes to chrissydechagny.
* if you'd like the original manip i made for use on the back cover, ask :] it's pretty small though.
* friend, if you'd like.
* icons coming soon.

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 17:21:00 GMT

HAPPY
THANKSGIVING!

what a shame i just got into this bigg fight with my mom yesterday.
oh,
well.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 00:15:08 GMT

sorrryyy it's been empty here.
most of my posts have been private lately =/

woooooahhhhh:O

i want that bby
'cept not in pink :]
Casio - EXILIM 10.1MP Digital Camera
@ best buy it's like 280$ but i believe at sam's it's like, what, 200$ tops?
still too much for me
but one day :D

I missed the show last saturday D:
laaame.
but on sunday i went shopping
cause my momma felt guilty, so she bought me stuff :P
&& <-- except in purple/maroon
& a cute dress that was also purple-ish, that wasn't on the website :P

so,
i was happy i guess.

tomorrow = no school
breakfast @ sophia's with kel and amanda :]]]

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:38:07 GMT

i be getting photoshop :DDD

finalllyyy.
jeeez, how i hated not being able to try allllll those 9874356387454 tutorials that involved selective coloring.

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 23:23:27 GMT

uhhmmm,
i'm going to virginia tomorrow :]]

so that means, from tomorrow to august 7,
limited amount of posts, and prolly little to no icons.

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:47:50 GMT

uhh, so i was gonna go see order of the phoenix with a friend today.
but..peedee just died :[ her sweetass dog, poor thing.
it's so weird, she was just kind of playing with molly [her other dog] and just kinda...fell over.

so, i don't know what's happening today, but i feel so bad. peedee was the sweetest thing ever. she'd always come up to me with some toy whenever i was over at kelsey's house, and i always had to play with her, even though most of the time we were in the middle of homework together. huh =// we still might go see the movie, just to get her mind off it.

anyway, new-older icons that i never posted.
i knoowww, alexis bledel isn't exactly the bella in my head...but i had the pics and i guess i was just like...why not. =p

26icons.
grey's anatomy
twilight/new moon
--alice cullen/zooey deschanel
--edward cullen/gaspard ulliel
--alexis/gaspard
alexis bledel

CREDIT & COMMENT & DON'T EDIT.

ALICE/ZOOEY & EDWARD/GASPARD
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
11. 12. 13.

ALEXIS
1. 2. 3. 4.

GREY'S ANATOMY
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9.

IF...you'd like me to slap on a name on the blank zooey/gaspard icons i'd be willing to, just ask =]

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 16:36:39 GMT

new new new journal. for the 97834854365398th time, yuh? instead of transferring all my old icons, i'll just link to them.
i make icons when i feel like it, but this journal will be a loooot of private posts, as well as posts without icons, though i'll try to include them.

the rules for these ones.
credit --- radicuhl.
comment --- either this journal or the entry it links to.
don't hotlink.
don't edit.

uh, and most of these links aren't dial-up friendly, k?

93♥ danny beauchamp, jamie bell, drake bell, elijah wood, ian somerhalder, zac efron, lucas grabeel, rupert grint, shawn ashmore, and lots of male models.

54♥ alexis bledel, caroline trentini [& danny beauchamp], doutzen kroes, lonneke engel, miranda kerr, random models.

87♥ anna paquin, anna popplewell, emma watson, bryce dallas howard, famke janssen, kate bosworth, katie holmes, rupert grint, potc2, & mansfield park.

63♥ tiiu kuik, caroline trentini, gemma ward, daria werbowy, emina cunmulaj, flavia de oliveira, kasia kniola, boyd holbrook, danny beauchamp, kevin flamme, mathias lauridsen, anouck lepere, misc. models.

45♥ emma watson, dan radcliffe, tom felton, chamber of secrets, jessica stam, heather marks, kasia kniola, stock images.

23♥ emma watson.

48♥ goblet of fire, rupert grint, emma watson, dan radcliffe, robert pattinson, katie leung, william moseley,

17♥ natalia vodianova

& one FO sign i decided to share.